i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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