I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
