i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
