we're blogging at a bar
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
