Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
