Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
