reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hippo gnu deer
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
