nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
