he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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