Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize