I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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