ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
