Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize