When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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