belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
