We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
