That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
