i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
