i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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