heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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