So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
