I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
