In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
