I'm lost and stupid without you.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize