Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
