Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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