That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
