oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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