I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
