I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
