she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
