I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
