How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
