that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
