I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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