You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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