So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
