so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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