Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
