First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
