When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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