escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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