Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
