im about as happy as oj after his trial
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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