I think im going to throw up on grandma
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am available for nakedness
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
