smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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