Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
