so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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