i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
