well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
