so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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