just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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