I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize