So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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