He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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