hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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