i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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