Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
