? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
