yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
