She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
