I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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