Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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