Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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