Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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