So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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