only you would photoshop your dick
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
