I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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