youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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