Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
