i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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