HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
