direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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