I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
