Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
