i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
