So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
