I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
