we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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