he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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