dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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