I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
