I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have already put on my inside pants.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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