i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
