It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
