dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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